Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
