I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
