You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
