I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
