What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
