maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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