your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
