Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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