things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
