i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
