Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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