I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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