I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You made out with two different species that night
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
