do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The power of my boobs compel you
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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