Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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