But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
