we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
