I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
