Come see our sink grown plant.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
