He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The air was thick with penises
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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