if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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