whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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