I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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