like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
