you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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