bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
