found the other keg... it's in the tree
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
