'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
