I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
