so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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