Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How does it feel to date your dad?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
