Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Barsexuality is the new black.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
