the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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