i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
