Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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