I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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