Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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