I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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