Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
