Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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