Swine flu. Run for my life!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
