i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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