Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
