i permit you to call me
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
