Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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