Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
