Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
