wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just found a bag of teeth...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
