i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
