I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
