My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
