My nipple is on Facebook.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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