My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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