Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
