I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
