It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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