My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
